James Harden’s beard is already the best in Cavs franchise history

LeBron James had one, so too did Tristan Thompson and Kevin Love. In fact, quite a few Cavs have them. But none have been as pronounced as the one sported by the newest Cavalier, James Harden.

Of course by “them,” I’m referring to the follicles which have accompanied or still occupy their faces. … their beards.

And no beard is more aligned with a Cavalier than James Harden’s. Which is appropriate considering his nickname is “The Beard.”

Sure, we can deep dive through +- statistics and contract jargon, but aren’t we all sick of hearing about the second apron and aggregated salaries?

I know I am.

Instead, let’s get hairy.

Harden’s beard is in a class of its own. Generally unkempt, sporting a touch of gray, and all encompassing. You can barely see Harden’s lips or teeth. He’s been rocking the signature look for as long as he’s been in the league. Year-by-year the beard gets fuller and seemingly longer.

What’s under that beard is anyone’s guess. There could even be more than one chin underneath all that hair. I’d be shocked if there wasn’t at least two during the end of James’ Nets tenure.

Mystery aside, the beard is its own unique spectacle. There’s no confusing Harden’s jaw dressing with any other beard in the league now, or ever. And certainly not with any bearded Cavalier.

Big Z, Zydrunas Ilgauskas, briefly had a beard during his Cleveland playing days, but it wasn’t around long enough to make a serious impact.

LeBron’s had a beard for years now, though his multiple Cleveland tenures have also mixed in goatees and mustaches. LBJ also rocks a billionaire’s beard — neatly cropped, always the same length, no surprises. It was solid, yet not spectacular.

Drew Gooden, now that’s a guy who deserves to be in the conversation. Gooden popularized the chinstrap beard in the NBA around the same time Kevin Love was doing so at UCLA. It’s an unmistakable look that nowadays pairs with an Affliction t-shirt and a pickup truck fitted with a lift kit. Had Drew not frequently ditched the beard for a goatee, he’d have given Harden more of a challenge.

By the time Love got to Cleveland, the chinstrap was replaced by a shaggy beard that seemed like he was trying too hard to fit into his new Midwest home. 

Carlos Boozer briefly rocked a beard during his playing days in The Land. His beard was strong, but given recent findings, can we really trust that the beard was actual hair and not sprayed on? No sure thing.

Those are the best contenders to Harden, and it’s clear none are up to the task. Harden’s face fur has the three Cs: character, consistency and creativity. 

In less than a week of being a Cavalier, Harden’s already earned the designation of having the franchise’s best beard. 

One title down, one to go.

(Anthony Farris is a freelance writer and occasional contributor to Hoops Wire. Follow him @OhioAF)

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