The Clippers are hosting the NBA All-Star Game this season, but somehow that isn’t even their biggest promotional stunt. That honor belonged to the bobbleheads.
Six of them. A league-high. A number so ambitious it feels like Steve Ballmer challenged his staff to “think bigger” and they took it literally.
Here was the original lineup:
Jan. 12: Kris Dunn
Feb. 2: Chris Paul
Feb. 22: James Harden
Mar. 4: Bradley Beal
Mar. 16: Nicolas Batum
Mar. 25: Kawhi Leonard
We can now slash that number to five. Chris Paul isn’t playing another second for the Clippers. He is technically still on the roster, but only in the same way Blockbuster is technically still a company.
And Bradley Beal? Out for the year. His bobblehead might be the healthiest version of him we see all season.
The Clippers were really about to hand out six bobbleheads in one year. Six. That’s not a giveaway schedule. That’s a cry for help.
Bulk bobbleheads go for about three bucks each. With Intuit Dome holding 18,000 fans, that means the Clippers will spend roughly $110,000 on Dunn and Batum alone. Who signed off on this? And did they do so after lunch or before coffee?
Still, when you’re Steve Ballmer, it’s pocket change. The man probably finds $110,000 in old laundry. And we live in an era of sports excess anyway. Give it a few years and an NBA team will be giving away bobbleheads of their analytics interns.
Six was outrageous. Five is still outrageous. But if anyone attends Kris Dunn Night and doesn’t want the bobblehead, I’ll gladly send $3 and cover shipping. That one feels like a collector’s item just out of irony.
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